Don’t Wait Too Long to Get Help
Probably about half of the people that I see in therapy come to me with their spouse or their intended… their partner, boyfriend or girlfriend.
They’re having a bit of a bumpy road. Frequently, communication issues are a problem. As individuals they can see things that are troubling them. They want to talk about it, but they just can’t seem to be able to do it in a way that brings them to some kind of resolution.
A lot of people get stuck in the middle of communications, and seem to keep going over the same problem again and again. They can’t seem to get to the end of it. They say, “We’re just miles apart. We just don’t understand each other.”
Sometimes it seems like one person is more to blame. But maybe that’s because it’s really hard for that person to own up to — or see — their own part in the problem and then the solution.
I’ve had some extra training in the last few years that I can use to help couples. John Gottman’s workshop has been very useful for me, both in assessment and in excellent practical tools, exercises, and good material for couples to read so they can understand each other better.
It’s really great to watch couples come in and learn how to listen to each other.
They all of a sudden get it. “Oh, yeah, now I get what he means by that.”
I caution people to come in early enough. Some people wait so long. Imagine if it was a physical ailment and you waited 6 or 7 years, which I understand is the way it is with marital problems. People wait until the problem has gotten so bad that it’s difficult to fix. They’ve become adversaries, but I would like them to see themselves as allies.
It does not need to get desperate before you seek help.
I would invite people to seek help earlier rather than later. Sometimes time just doesn’t make it go away.
Sometimes it helps a lot just to get a third person who can see it with a different perspective, a professional perspective and objective… who can help make a place for you to feel safe to work out some of your problems.
Don’t wait any longer to solve these knotty problems with your loved one. Contact me today.